what?..

Im loss for words actually.Its lunch time now, 12.30.But I have no appetite to eat. I know I shouldnt have logged in facebook and friendster.In my mind, it keeps on telling me dont even think about it.But my heart just said why not.I logged in friendster to delete the pictures. There.I deleted them all.The painful memories.Then I logged in facebook.Then I saw it.You looked so happy.Its like im not needed anymore.Yes,maybe that's why you're happy, Im not there.There's no one to harm you.I feel like an outcast now.Maybe I played a part too in excluding myself from the circle of friends.I thought everyone hated me that's why all of you didnt contact me.Its okay if you all despise me.But whats' the reason?

Im too tried to think about it.I cant concentrate at work as I kept on thinking about daily, even though Im not supposed to. There was once when i logged in my email, you were there for a moment, but you logged out soon after seeing me.Am I too scarry for you that you are too afraid to even see my name appear?

The sad thing is that you're always appearing in my dreams.Why?Oh why?Pls dont do this to me.Macam bergantung tanpa bertali.You didnt reply any of my mails and suddenly you just wished me.What does it means?Do you still care?Ive so many questions but no one to ask.Im so confused.I cant concentrate on anything.Are you really happy?Coz if you do, im happy that you are happy.But honestly, Im not happy.

Painful memories, unhappy thoughts.Please leave me alone, i need to concentrate on my work!..Starting from..NOW!